Over 40, have 14 mo. twins - considering getting pregnant again

[LoriT2]

I was encouraged when I read these threads by how happy the moms of multiple multiples seemed to be - and that they actually wanted more kids! I turned 40 in July and take care of my twins by myself without much help. On weekends, my husband is a huge help but during the week, he doesn't get home until around 7pm from work and we put the babies down by 8pm. He does what he can during that hour, but mostly, I just want him to play with the babies and have fun with them. (Besides, him entertaining them means I get to load the dishwasher in peace.) My last 6 weeks of pregnancy became very difficult because up until 30 weeks, I had only gained 32 pounds (and that includes water gain) but I immediately started to weigh in heavily at every visit and those remaining weeks I gained an additional 40 pounds. I was so full with fluid, I could barely eat. I couldn't walk very well as most of it was in my legs. I'm not worried about having to go through something like that again as much as I'm worried about how to take care of the two I have should that happen again. Also, taking care of 4 babies is so much work, especially when you don't have much help. I don't have a lot of time to myself now and of course that will disappear totally. Just not sure what to do and would like your thoughts. Oh, and my husband, who would definitely like more kids also said he'd be happy with the two we have.

[Mrs. Q.]

My DH and I have decided we were done with 6. But it's funny how calm we are when every month comes and we wait to see.

You will be fine. All you need to do is learn to say "yes!" when friend and family offer to help. Even if it's just running to the store. The smallest things help.

Good luck whatever you decide. Either way stay and enjoy the board.

[my4sons]

Hi Lori,

My twins will be 5 weeks old tomorrow. I also have a 4 yo and a 2 yo. Although I am battling with post partum depression right now, I still love having all of these kids. I definately want more children and I am working on convincing my husband that it would be a good idea. I would be absolutely thrilled with another set of twins. As far as the pregnancy being hard, I have been pregnant 3 times and each pregnancy was very differant. I wouldn't let your last pregnancy problems keep you from getting pregnant again. Being 40 though, I would talk to your doctor about the risks.

Good luck and God bless,
Jane

[shelley]

Hi Lori,

I'm 40 also (turned 40 during my pregnancy with my twins born last Sept). I now have 4 girls (ages 12, 9 and the twins that are almost 5 months). It's a big question for me, too. This twin pregnancy was pretty tough and I had a major complication during my c-section-sciatic nerve injury that left me unable to walk for weeks(I had to hire a baby nurse,depend on family,etc etc) and it was so HARD. But ya know, I would really do it again. I look at my baby girls and I CANNOT imagine my life without them. I agree about talking to your doctor, though.

[LoriT2]

Hello to all of you who responded. I concur with your advice on seeking doctor counsel. During my 6 month check up I did discuss this with her and she told me about how the risks go up with every year. I don't know if it's my faith or what it could be, but I don't seem to worry too much about those risks. I did, however, ask my husband to think about the possibility of having a child with disabilities and the only question I asked him is if he knew he could love that child no differently than our current twins. My husband has been my rock through this and I would need to make sure he's ready for anything. He usually is.

Lately I have been receiving pro- signs and literally people coming up to tell me that I should have more kids. This kind of statement has come from people who do not know this has been on my mind so much. Also, I see families in church and they have several children and I cannot take my eyes off those families and I pray for them and I am so happy for them. I guess I have not gotten this out of my system yet.

Sometimes I feel so blessed with what I have that I am afraid to ask God for more. Now, being someone who has strong faith, doesn't this seem strange to wonder if I'm worthy enough, when I'm not the one to try to determine my worth?

I do also think about the work involved occasionally and also there are times when I am just so happy with the way things are. I guess I'm a little afraid of change at times.

What I am sure of, and as all of you feel the same, I cannot imagine my life without my little beauties. We just took them for their first haircuts. They sat beautifully and the proud parents snaped pictures and video the whole time.

I'm so sorry to the gal who had a problem with her c-section and couldn't walk for weeks afterward. I can't imagine the ordeal that was, however, you remain encouraging nonetheless!

The easiest thing I can do is leave this in God's hands.

Thank you all, again, for responding.

[mamabear]

Lori if this helps you My Aunt at 47 gave birth to a very healthy happy 8 lb 12 oz bouncing baby boy who is perfect running wild and keeping anti and uncle busy:D

[Toni]

Lori--
I'm 38 and have 8 month old twin boys. I recently learned that I am expecting boy number 3 in July (quite a surprise!). Anthony and Benjamin will be one month and one week old on my due date! I must admit I was slightly relieved when I learned I was only expecting one! I am, however, quite happy and blessed for the new guy, although many people have asked me, strangely I think, if I cried when I found out the news. I guess I've just decided this--this time in my life is a season, and yes it's a lot of work and yes it ties me down quite a bit. But it's a short season, and I'm probably going to miss it when it's over, so I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts and not worry so much about whether or not I think I can handle it. I do pray for strength to meet the challenge, and then I just do my best.
Blessings to you and yours!
Toni